Monthly Archives: November 2013

What is Sexy?…

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The level of fixation on sex and all things body-related has grown to epidemic proportions.  Physicality is widely seen now as the primary dictator of ‘sexy’, though physical depiction, even generationally, is interestingly diverse.

‘Sex sells’… ever heard the phrase ‘sex sells tires’?  It’s meant broadly to communicate ‘sex can sell anything’.  And upon first interpretation, it seems to indicate it is not referring to the persona of the bikini-clad Miss, reclining uncomfortably (and suggestively) over a brand new tire.  Or is it?

Perhaps it is the communication of an ‘ideal’, which only superficially perceives that it deals directly with the physical.  In reality, physicality is fickle, differing with each new generation and between cultures.

Consider these two examples:

modern Body1955BodIf physique is ‘sexy’, how are the drastic differences explained between what was considered ‘ideal’ in 1955, versus the ‘ideal’ of today?  Notions that the physical body defines what is ‘sexy’ have been reinforced to unhealthy extremes, leading to increases in the number and severity of eating disorders and negative body image issues.  People are dying to be thin…literally.  As if thin dictates ‘sexy’ without regard to the entire multitude of other aspects that actually make us human and attracted to one another.   In fact, it is a form of Fetishism, and it allows for the commoditization of sex and the ‘sexual ideal’.  It is an alarming deviation from sexual truths and a reflection of misrepresented ideals.

In actuality, physique is only used to ferry communication.  And it is the communication that remains unabashed and unchanged, proving it is the focus, the issue at hand.  The physical is used to ferry the communication of ‘sexy’…and by ‘sexy’, I mean attitude.  Attitude is sexy.

The physique is merely the vessel by which the attitude is dispensed…a ship containing the gold within, to speak in metaphor.  A physique can be honed and crafted.  Hell, it can even be bought these days.  But attitude?  Well, that’s the real gold isn’t it?  After all, that outer shell can look like a million bucks, but if there isn’t much of substance on the inside, it’s only going to take you so far.  It will in fact only take you exactly as far as any physical body is capable of, and no more.

Ask most men and women what is really ‘sexy’ and if they’re honest, they’ll likely talk about ‘the way he/she looks at me’, ‘how much he’s/she’s in to me’, or ‘wants me’.  It’s something in the look and the action, not in the actual eyeball.   It is a conveyed sensibility; enabled and enhanced through its communication by the body.

Consider that people who may be very adept at using their bodies to communicate attitude are naturally sought after by multimedia outlets that communicate solely through visual campaigns.

So buyers beware…the body might mislead what the mind has to offer.

Examine the Alternatives…

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The word ‘alternative’ has two wonderful synonyms:  ‘option’ and ‘choice’.

And of course, a synonym is defined as ‘a word or phrase that means exactly or nearly the same as another word or phrase in the same language’.

So, ‘examine the alternatives’ simply means ‘consider all the options’ and ‘consider your choices’.

In every action or reaction, we should examine our alternatives.  The important key word in that statement is ‘examine’, because it should prompt one to contemplate what they are examining their options or choices for, but also why there is a need to examine them.Blog 18 Image

Do we make our choices blindly?  No.  Choices are made based on their perceived merit.  Merit should regard how our choices impact others through their potential to enhance and uplift life.  Trouble is, sometimes merit can stem from individual unhealthy needs or desires.  For example, if we choose to give our time and effort to another, but with the ultimate desire that our efforts be acknowledged somehow, say with simple appreciation (seems harmless enough…most people expect a little appreciation for doing good things).  But in such cases, we have given of ourselves with an expectation to receive.  Giving with the expectation to receive is not true giving…it is the result of a cost/benefit analysis conducted under the umbrella of a ‘what’s in it for me’ mentality.

And we are all guilty of it…so no harsh judgments here…

However, it can become a dangerous process….a habitual viewpoint of the self as victim to the world and circumstance.  It is paramount to get real in the examination of our motivations.  Truth is health, and truth is not always easy.  Ask yourself (and be honest) about any hopes, desires, or expectations you might be attaching to your choices and why you really need them.  Are motivations borne from loneliness, envy, unhappiness, or anger?  If our options and choices are rooted in these motivations, there is serious work to be done…inside.  Eventually, once the hard work is done and truth is achieved, loving and giving comes simply and clearly from the desire only to love and give, without the expectation for anything else.

NOTE:  This endeavor is part of the perpetual classroom of life; a renewable ideal, a process and lesson which needs constant gardening to reveal its infinite ability to improve with every season  🙂

blog image courtesy of:  http://www.alternatives.org/impact.html