Tag Archives: happiness

The Best Kind of Panties….

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Blog 12 Image

 

**“She made me angry…” ** “That ruined my day…” ** “I just can’t get past it…”**

Are any of these statements really true?  Do others possess the capability to make us something we don’t wish to be?  Is it true to say someone, or something else ruined our entire day?

No…statements like these are fundamentally untrue…

We control ourselves… This is a true statement.

Seriously consider the power of such a statement over the others listed above.  The conclusion states we have the last word about what kind of day we have and how we are ultimately going to feel.  We are the harbinger of our own misery or happiness.  We are the ‘keeper of the mood’.

We understand it, in theory.  In practice, it gains difficulty.  That guy that cut you off in traffic, the boss who ‘just doesn’t get it’, or the person who treats you poorly and ‘gets away with it’; each tests our mettle and seems to bring on us (from the outside) anger, frustration, and misery.

However, it is the expectations we place on outside influences that are the source of our own anger and disappointment.  We expect things to go a certain way, or expect to be treated right, or expect people to behave well.  And when things don’t go as expected, we get disappointed or angry.  This is absurd, since we lack control over anything but ourselves.    If we account for the sum total of individual expectation for 7+ billion people on the planet, it isn’t hard to see how anger and frustration is manufactured on a daily basis.

Consider the power of change.  It is possible to enact positive change in our life, and it is through the mere decision to do so.  That is power that does not bend to outside influence.  That is power which dwells inside, produced by sheer will.  Your thoughts run you…

The very position of your will inside means it is protected from outside forces which will against it.  We are each a sturdy vessel.  We are our very own harbor in a storm.  We are each a force…

And because we possess such control, we are not victims…

It is necessary to own our mood and outlook.  It is necessary to be responsible for what we put out in the world.  If we are having a bad day, it is because we are choosing to do so…and that’s completely on us.  We are not a victim of someone or something else; we are choosing to victimize ourselves. 

So don’t do it….Put on those big kid panties and get on with living  🙂

 

*Image courtesy of:  http://aubenoire.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/no-expectations2.jpg*

Kindness…it’s what’s for breakfast…

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Blog 9 PicI’ve always liked the phrase ‘you get what you give’, but there’s a kink…

You don’t always get what you give when it comes to kindness.  Ouch.  I just ripped that statement off like a Band-Aid…

No worries, there’s a silver lining…it doesn’t have to impact you in a negative way.

Is it frustrating to be treated like crap when you’re being kind to someone?  Are there times when it feels as though there is a complete lack of justice in the world, especially when some seem to make it their life’s mission to make other people miserable by being mean, rude, or uncompassionate?

When our frustration stems from the inability of another person to return our kindness, than our kindness wasn’t given freely.  It came with strings attached…strings of expectation.  In fact, those individuals necessitate greater compassion, rather than frustration.  It is incredibly sad when a fellow human being doesn’t have the capability to receive kindness.

Damage manifests many ways and although we are all damaged goods to varying degrees and crossroads, we are also each on a unique journey of learning and healing.  There is no certain formula for the amount of time or circumstance required for a person to heal, to be healthy.  Unfortunately, some damage runs too deep; intersections with connections never made, when a lifetime isn’t enough time to fix all the issues.  This kind of hurt continues to haunt and spread pain.  Healing is as complex and unique as a fingerprint.

Motivations for kindness are the key.  Kindness isn’t something we give because we expect people to return it by treating us the same way.  Kindness isn’t for show or a method for getting into Heaven.  Kindness is just because.  Because a kind person is the type of person we choose to be, regardless of circumstance.  We strive to say with honesty that we treat everyone with kindness not because it makes us better than someone else, but just because it is in our power to do so; because we choose to put kindness out into the universe, just because we believe kindness matters.

A truly kind spirit is one that cares, loves, nurtures, and chooses to propagate kindness just because.  Kindness is its own hope, with the capacity to soak into souls like a summer rain into parched earth.  Let’s do ourselves and the world a favor and be a source of expectation-less kindness…

🙂

*image courtesy of: http://headlinebistro.typepad.com/.a/6a00e553f9f2f388340133f4d5a2f1970b-pi *

Happiness…not always…

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happiness picHappiness is not a constant and that is okay…

If we determine a focus on what is good and right, even during hardship, happiness finds us.  Seeking happiness counter intuitively prevents its discovery because it cannot be forced.  Happiness is the wonderful byproduct of attitude and outlook.

The impression that happiness should be (or can be) a constant state of being is illusory.  We are flawed and life is imperfect.  We will feel the sting of disappointment, heartbreak, boredom, and failure.  Life is far too complex to assume the measure of control exists necessary to guarantee one’s happiness as a constant in extant forms of free will or medication.

Acceptance and attitude during experienced states of unhappiness is paramount.  Being unhappy spurs us to hope for happiness.  It motivates us to change our circumstances and attitudes, or create new goals and practices.   And once happiness is again experienced, it is thanks to our previous unhappiness that we have an increased sense of appreciation for what we have found.

Suffering has its unique merits and lessons, so while life is a journey, it is also a classroom.  Our quality of progression depends on perception and perspective.  What we learn and how we choose to apply that knowledge impacts the quality of life for us and for others.  Moreover, like ripples on a pond, they extend beyond the present to influence and inform the future.

Consistently hope for happiness, even in your most depressed moments.  Hoping for happiness is as simple as a happy thought, noting a kind gesture, or repaying one forward.

Happiness is a chosen, hopeful core…a point of light in the dark…a destination of goodness that serves as the constant North of your compass  🙂

 

* image: “http://pinterest.com/pin/283093526547005536/” *