Tag Archives: human beings

A Man Walked Toward Me, Stumbling…

Standard

I message with my mother pretty much every day. Since she is on the East Coast and I am in New Mexico, messaging is a way to constantly check in, make sure all’s well. When I receive a message from her, my phone sends me a notification that usually includes the first line of text. The title of this blog post is from one of those notifications.

Most of the time things we receive don’t grab our interest. Obviously, this one made me curious and had the same effect on you, Dear Reader, or you [likely] wouldn’t have bothered to click on this post. I won’t tell you how her story ended. It isn’t important. What is important, at least to me, is our reaction and awareness.

Are we so desensitized that we need shock value to register a response?

I’m desperate to grab your attention. I am not a ‘master blogger’ by any stretch of the imagination. I do my best to write honestly about topics I find interesting or important in the hope I can connect with people I’d never get the opportunity to meet in person. I am not out to make a buck. I am not looking to build an empire of ‘likes’. I am keenly aware that I am one small fish in a very large ocean. I merely make these attempts (blogs & visual art) to send a signal into the abyss with the hope of experiencing a camaraderie with others who also appreciate and identify small, profound aspects of the human condition.

Yet, for all my effort real connection is rare…

Why? We have grown impatient and shallow. We have less free time than ever before and we are bombarded with empty media content all day, every day. Everything is at our fingertips; entertainment, world news, goods & services. We don’t have to be seekers anymore, we’re only digesters. Hunter gatherers had to seek out food & water, shelter, companionship. Now, most of the world sits fingering device screens, digesting a steady stream of…well…dare I say it?…garbage. Content void of nourishing substance. Connection requires too much energy and time. We’re too busy. Too busy being dumbed down, and enjoying it.

I hate that this sounds so pessimistic, but truth is truth and it sets us free. Generically speaking, it’s true that there is a lot of good in the world, but it’s really rare for people to truly connect with other people these days and we are suffering for it. The power of touch, eye contact, and face-to-face communication has been steadily replaced by 1-minute virals and shock value. It saddens me in ways I cannot begin to describe. Social media is not connection. Most of it isn’t even real. It’s a lie, hollow and deceptive. Most media content delivers a false sense of belonging, connection, and happiness, aspects of life critical to the human experience. The eyes see, the brain digests, and over time people end up feeling more and more detached and inferior. What it offers is simple & tasty: something fast and easy that doesn’t require more from us than we’re willing to give. In contrast, relationships take time and effort.

Fleeting moments of kindness and sacrifice are nice, but they cannot provide longterm mental and emotional sustenance. It’s like taking a supplement in lieu of eating healthy food…the body can go a little while but eventually sickens and dies. We need to engage to nourishtouch more, love more, see more, experience more, be more…not just for ourselves, but for others. Seeking active engagement with others enriches the human experience. It exposes us to a variety of situations, confrontations, and conversations that prompt greater creativity, compassion, and wisdom. Engaging with others enlightens us and teaches us more about ourselves. In turn, we have the opportunity to enrich the lives of others with increased positivity and hope. Even the little things will take on a significance that blows the mind and enhances the senses. We need each other. There is no supplement or replacement therapy for human connection.

Are you there, Dear Reader?? I devote my time to this blog in the spirit of hope that you are there, and you care. Catch someone’s eye today, Dear Reader. Meet their gaze and engage. You won’t regret it and it’ll be time well spent. Rock on…

Time, Control and other Illusions…

Standard

Blog11Image

 

Change is a constant.  We know this to be true.  Seasons change and visible change takes place; things grow, mature, decline, die.  In light of this fact, we should question:  Can any of us predict the exact day a flower will bloom?  Do we know what will entangle the hours and minutes of our inevitable death?  Can we, in the conscience of all that is spontaneous, say we will recognize a life-changing event prior to its inception?  May we hope to unravel the complexities of connection, discourse, and influence in our own existence, and all those around us?

No…we can do none of these things…

Therefore, we are not in control.  We control ourselves, our emotions, responses, and perceptions but nothing else.  If I plant a flower, feed and water it exactly right, it still holds within it the potential to die.  Nature is uncontrolled and breathing and she does not yield to human will.  We can include human beings in the mix too, because we are of this world, this ‘nature’; unpredictable and wild, somewhat stable, but certain to change.

So why, without constants, do we still believe we exercise control over the uncontrollable?

We strive to control because we find the illusion of control comforting…our belief in the illusion makes us at least feel as though we are not given up to chance, and feelings, it seems, are quite important to our perceptions of order.  We function under a grand ideal; an ideal which preaches unequivocally that stability trumps change, order trumps chaos and preparation trumps surprise…

Yet, we yearn for all things spontaneous.  We fill our legends, music, and movies with it and we dream lofty dreams.  Silly really, since true spontaneity is literally defined by throwing oneself into the disordered, wildness of the universe with the sole purpose of experiencing the unplanned with a devil-may-care attitude.  True spontaneity is a rare thing, because the ideal prefers boundaries and borders to spontaneity.   Spontaneity must conform to the comfortable parameters set forth by our illusions.  Illusions which state we can somehow exercise a measure of control over our ‘spontaneous’ experiences, somehow making them ‘better’.

Because, of course, all we do not know makes us uncomfortable.  So what we do not know is unpredictable, and requires explanation and measurement to become comfortable, even if the measurement and explanation is illusion…

Take time for example…does time, as we understand it, actually exist?

What does time fundamentally mean to a newborn?  How does it matter to the deathbed?  And all the spaces between, which are filled, managed, scheduled, forgotten, procrastinated, or logged…what do they mean?  Is life merely a score sheet of timed tally marks in which we, as human beings, with our ‘mathematical concepts’ of time set out to measure and denote and catalog that which is, in reality, unpredictable and constant change?

It is uncomfortable to us to admit our lack of control.  We feel set adrift on a vast, dark ocean in a rowboat.  But our perceptions are the issue, not our lack of control.  If we could, in a moment, consider the marvelous nature of life; its progression, change, and interrelatedness with the rest of creation.

I’m not advocating the rejection of common sense.  I’m not advocating harmful recklessness.  Nor am I advocating that anyone should operate outside the rules of culture in which they live and make a living.  In other words, render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, but perhaps try in small steps to begin letting go of the illusions of control that bring a false sense of comfort within your own life.

I’m talking about the possibility and potential inherent in the moment.  I am talking about the release of the paradigm.  The confining paradigm that works against the notion that any given moment is beautiful in its own right, full of complex shifts between good and bad, the latter producing infinite benefits if one could only embrace the lesson.  I’m talking about approachability, sensibility, respect, and compassion.  So that every individual you meet and moment you experience is not merely factored, measured, and sized up, but rather embraced as the natural infusion of force in which we all play part.  Respect the journey, not for its measurability, but its immeasurable and untamed potentialities.  In this, the moments within the journey become recognized as awesome blessings  🙂

 

*image courtesy of:  http://www.cumberlandchurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/control.gif *