Tag Archives: kindness matters

A Man Walked Toward Me, Stumbling…

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I message with my mother pretty much every day. Since she is on the East Coast and I am in New Mexico, messaging is a way to constantly check in, make sure all’s well. When I receive a message from her, my phone sends me a notification that usually includes the first line of text. The title of this blog post is from one of those notifications.

Most of the time things we receive don’t grab our interest. Obviously, this one made me curious and had the same effect on you, Dear Reader, or you [likely] wouldn’t have bothered to click on this post. I won’t tell you how her story ended. It isn’t important. What is important, at least to me, is our reaction and awareness.

Are we so desensitized that we need shock value to register a response?

I’m desperate to grab your attention. I am not a ‘master blogger’ by any stretch of the imagination. I do my best to write honestly about topics I find interesting or important in the hope I can connect with people I’d never get the opportunity to meet in person. I am not out to make a buck. I am not looking to build an empire of ‘likes’. I am keenly aware that I am one small fish in a very large ocean. I merely make these attempts (blogs & visual art) to send a signal into the abyss with the hope of experiencing a camaraderie with others who also appreciate and identify small, profound aspects of the human condition.

Yet, for all my effort real connection is rare…

Why? We have grown impatient and shallow. We have less free time than ever before and we are bombarded with empty media content all day, every day. Everything is at our fingertips; entertainment, world news, goods & services. We don’t have to be seekers anymore, we’re only digesters. Hunter gatherers had to seek out food & water, shelter, companionship. Now, most of the world sits fingering device screens, digesting a steady stream of…well…dare I say it?…garbage. Content void of nourishing substance. Connection requires too much energy and time. We’re too busy. Too busy being dumbed down, and enjoying it.

I hate that this sounds so pessimistic, but truth is truth and it sets us free. Generically speaking, it’s true that there is a lot of good in the world, but it’s really rare for people to truly connect with other people these days and we are suffering for it. The power of touch, eye contact, and face-to-face communication has been steadily replaced by 1-minute virals and shock value. It saddens me in ways I cannot begin to describe. Social media is not connection. Most of it isn’t even real. It’s a lie, hollow and deceptive. Most media content delivers a false sense of belonging, connection, and happiness, aspects of life critical to the human experience. The eyes see, the brain digests, and over time people end up feeling more and more detached and inferior. What it offers is simple & tasty: something fast and easy that doesn’t require more from us than we’re willing to give. In contrast, relationships take time and effort.

Fleeting moments of kindness and sacrifice are nice, but they cannot provide longterm mental and emotional sustenance. It’s like taking a supplement in lieu of eating healthy food…the body can go a little while but eventually sickens and dies. We need to engage to nourishtouch more, love more, see more, experience more, be more…not just for ourselves, but for others. Seeking active engagement with others enriches the human experience. It exposes us to a variety of situations, confrontations, and conversations that prompt greater creativity, compassion, and wisdom. Engaging with others enlightens us and teaches us more about ourselves. In turn, we have the opportunity to enrich the lives of others with increased positivity and hope. Even the little things will take on a significance that blows the mind and enhances the senses. We need each other. There is no supplement or replacement therapy for human connection.

Are you there, Dear Reader?? I devote my time to this blog in the spirit of hope that you are there, and you care. Catch someone’s eye today, Dear Reader. Meet their gaze and engage. You won’t regret it and it’ll be time well spent. Rock on…

Sorry, Not Sorry…

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There is something to envy in the nakedness of trees. An unabashed, shamelessness. They are as they are, in whatever season they occupy. Each has its own distinct beauty, regardless of time or age.

We are like trees…

Except that we are thinking things consistently under threat from a manufactured world that can make us blind to our own beauty. Other experiences, mostly manicured, are marched before the eye via all forms of media. They often appear fuller, more beautiful and impactful than our own, even if we know better. A steady diet of such media does little for the soul and tends to enhance a sense of meaninglessness and destructive internal dialogue.

“I’m not good enough…I’m not doing enough…I’m not enough…”

Self destructive, loathsome internal dialogue. We wouldn’t think of treating a friend or a loved one the way we treat ourselves. Yet it’s so common to be kind to the world, but unkind to oneself. We let outside sources communicate to us who we aspire to be and we abide.

The simplest remedy for negative internal dialogue is to disengage from sources that reinforce it in ways that enable us to see our self worth. To take time to meditate on our abilities, identify our gifts, and recognize we exist to contribute something meaningful and profound to life. When the world creeps in and we start to feel inferior, it is important to stand up for oneself and acknowledge the profundity and uniqueness of life. Even the simplest actions we engage in during our lifetime are meaningful and profound in ways we may never know. Have faith…

You. Are. Enough.

Try this to retrain negative internal dialogue: refuse to be apologetic. Try listing a few:

I will not apologize for my life experiences, good or bad.

I will not apologize for the way I look.

I will not apologize for aging.

I will not apologize for the way I feel.

I will not apologize for my anger.

I will not apologize for my flaws.

I will not apologize for my opinions.

I will not apologize for my faith.

I will not apologize, for I AM ENOUGH.

And you are, Dear Reader. You are enough. I am enough. And we do not need the approval or affirmation of an outside world to believe it or live it.

Let’s be like trees, unabashed and shameless in the nakedness of our individuality. We are each beautiful and profound, in every season.

Rock on…

*Image courtesy of: http://www.womenlivingwellafter50.com*

Dear Reader [an apology]…

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A virus…wow…

Dear Reader, I am sorry. Let’s call it a distraction. Distraction from the norm, the world, life as we know it, anything resembling the usual day-to-day. Nothing makes sense. Nothing looks the way it’s supposed to look. Nothing functions properly. For the entire world, this horrid virus has disrupted everything, and crept (against all positive effort) into the psyche of every individual, like an intruder through an open window at midnight. A distraction to say the least.

Dear Reader, I am sorry. We have lost loved ones and friends, and as if this wasn’t enough for the heart to endure, we’ve been denied our basic human need to be at the bedside or hold a hand. We’ve lost our freedom to travel, to experience new things, to adventure. We have even lost the ability to venture forward, losing jobs or income, and facing meager prospects as many suspend hiring. We don’t get to see smiles anymore. Hidden behind our masks, we sit…and stay…and wait.

But let’s not repeat the news. For it rarely provides anything of substance, only promoting a grim picture and inciting anger and frustration. Isn’t there enough of that in the world today? Do we need a constant stream of negativity and blind regurgitation?

Step away from the screens and the sounds of the reported world…step away with me. Let’s endeavor to hope. Let’s imagine the smiles we cannot see. Let’s create our own dialogue.

Dear Reader, tell me when you smiled last. What prompted it? Was it a kindness? A sweet memory? Have you had many smiles lately? I hope this for you.

Dear Reader, tell me something good. When we’re finally allowed to emerge from our restrictions, what will you have learned? What positives occurred? What will you want to take with you? I hope you have had more good than bad.

Dear Reader, tell me your hopes. Is it a struggle? How have they kept your sanity intact? Do you hope for specifics, or something more abstract? I hope for you.

Dear Reader, you mean something to me. We are a species of survivors, it’s true. Moreover, we are a species immensely capable of great emotion, discernment, and creativity. Let’s cling to the better parts of ourselves and be here for each other in ways that matter. Let’s endeavor to be more. To be a lingering happy memory, a light in the darkness, a prayer of hope and healing. Let’s strive to be better and do better. Let’s be indiscriminately kind.

Dear Reader, I will be here, more than I have in the past. That is my promise. It is worth focusing my attention (now more than ever) toward promoting greater positivity and kindness. To persist in the belief that we can redirect our thinking toward what’s right with the world, instead of what’s wrong. Let’s endeavor to hope. There is no alternative worth pondering.

Rock on, all you beautiful, bold souls…I see you, and you are not alone.

Rock on…

Image credit belongs to: https://blog.ec4u.com/en/apology-sorry-how-to-apologize-to-customers/

Kindness…it’s what’s for breakfast…

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Blog 9 PicI’ve always liked the phrase ‘you get what you give’, but there’s a kink…

You don’t always get what you give when it comes to kindness.  Ouch.  I just ripped that statement off like a Band-Aid…

No worries, there’s a silver lining…it doesn’t have to impact you in a negative way.

Is it frustrating to be treated like crap when you’re being kind to someone?  Are there times when it feels as though there is a complete lack of justice in the world, especially when some seem to make it their life’s mission to make other people miserable by being mean, rude, or uncompassionate?

When our frustration stems from the inability of another person to return our kindness, than our kindness wasn’t given freely.  It came with strings attached…strings of expectation.  In fact, those individuals necessitate greater compassion, rather than frustration.  It is incredibly sad when a fellow human being doesn’t have the capability to receive kindness.

Damage manifests many ways and although we are all damaged goods to varying degrees and crossroads, we are also each on a unique journey of learning and healing.  There is no certain formula for the amount of time or circumstance required for a person to heal, to be healthy.  Unfortunately, some damage runs too deep; intersections with connections never made, when a lifetime isn’t enough time to fix all the issues.  This kind of hurt continues to haunt and spread pain.  Healing is as complex and unique as a fingerprint.

Motivations for kindness are the key.  Kindness isn’t something we give because we expect people to return it by treating us the same way.  Kindness isn’t for show or a method for getting into Heaven.  Kindness is just because.  Because a kind person is the type of person we choose to be, regardless of circumstance.  We strive to say with honesty that we treat everyone with kindness not because it makes us better than someone else, but just because it is in our power to do so; because we choose to put kindness out into the universe, just because we believe kindness matters.

A truly kind spirit is one that cares, loves, nurtures, and chooses to propagate kindness just because.  Kindness is its own hope, with the capacity to soak into souls like a summer rain into parched earth.  Let’s do ourselves and the world a favor and be a source of expectation-less kindness…

🙂

*image courtesy of: http://headlinebistro.typepad.com/.a/6a00e553f9f2f388340133f4d5a2f1970b-pi *