Tag Archives: motivation

Be the Exception to Be Exceptional

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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking: Cain,  Susan: 9780307352156: Amazon.com: Books

In the book Quiet, Susan Cain masterfully discusses the implications of our societal shift from a “Culture of Character” to a “Culture of Personality” as a consequence of the Industrial Revolution. Her use of the term ‘culture’ is particularly powerful to me. Personally, I have always been aware of negative societal shifts and thought of them as very old issues that, once set into motion, became like a genie that could not be put back in the bottle.

Ultimately, collectively, we cannot turn back the clock to kinder times. We must find our way individually among the hedgerows of our current labyrinth.

The single, most tragic consequence of our cultural shift of focus from character to personality is the loss of true individuality. In a world so focused on persona, self-editing—in multiple forms—rules the day. Who are we if we haven’t been defined by others?

What would happen if we defined ourselves? What if we decided what we should think or feel, or what should really be important to us?

Here’s a challenge:

STOP BEHAVING AS THOUGH LIFE IS A SOLO PERFORMANCE

Influencers, social media, falling in line with the majority in thoughts and feelings…all are toxic to true individualism, but why should we care?

I mean, it does feel better to be part of the group, and what’s wrong with beautiful people leading (apparently) beautiful lives, or aspiring to be like them?

It’s true, it doesn’t feel great to be outside of popular opinion. It’s tough to stand up for what we think if what we think doesn’t align well with the majority. We risk being outcast. If there’s one thing a culture of personality seems to communicate best it’s that we all need to just fall in line. If you try to march to a different drum, it better be preordained acceptable. Image is everything, even at the expense of your personal happiness and fulfillment.

The things that ‘matter’ have become increasingly shallow and meaningless.

My husband and I recently spent time in Costa Rica for our 30th wedding anniversary. We descended over 500 steps to arrive at the most amazing waterfall. My first thought? Shed the clothes (yes, I had a suit underneath) and jump in! As I enjoyed the briskness of the water and looked around feeling incredibly grateful to be a brief part of the awesome power of a 700 meter waterfall, I noticed a young woman nearby on the bank. Hard not to, she was quite beautiful, wearing a very pink bikini, and holding a selfie stick. Unfortunately, she was too self-involved to notice she was hoarding the only point of easy access to the waterfall, even as people were forced to navigate a series of rough volcanic boulders around her to gain access to the water. She never acknowledged a soul, including her boyfriend who kept prompting her to come into the water with him. I’m certain she got what she came down 500 steps to get, and it’s true she was the most physically stunning human being at the waterfall that day. But she never got in the water. In fact, she never seemed to offer a second glance at the awesome waterfall that served as her selfie backdrop. Personality in this case was overly managed, while character needed a lot of work.

SAD.

Wholly manufactured lives and experiences are a commodity that is both bought and sold in our culture of personality. It doesn’t matter that pink bikini didn’t get in the water, only that her image carries the perception that she did (the perception being that she really enjoyed it in a way ‘average’ people are incapable of). In a culture of personality, buyer’s remorse comes in the form of an increasingly detached personal identity, closely followed by an increasing dissatisfaction with life in general, a life that consistently fails to live up to unrealistic, fabricated ideals.

A culture of personality doesn’t care about you. Fabricated images and experiences aren’t intended to make you feel better about yourself as an ‘as-is’ individual. On the contrary, they intend to prompt feelings of inadequacy that will lead you to buy-or-try whatever is being sold, something that’s ‘better than you’. The amusing but sad truth is, not even the person peddling that garbage is that thing. They are performers and a liars, most often for their own financial gain or vain image promotion.

Because image is everything.

Even though we cannot put the genie back in the bottle, there is a remedy at the individual level. Be kind to yourself and stop swallowing the personality pill. Find happiness in the ways that suit you, not others. Celebrate those aspects of ‘you’ that make you special and set you apart. Cherish and value your own thoughts and opinions. Have you ever found yourself in fundamental opposition to a group opinion, but kept silent for fear of ridicule? Stop it. Why should we be a world of clones? Why boast the merits of individualism if we aren’t willing to allow individual attitudes, expressions, or beliefs?

And if you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum: if you are that person on your cellphone at the stoplight that is now green, stop it. Stop being ignorant and inconsiderate of all the people behind you waiting to make the light. If you are the person sizing everyone up who walks through the door, stop it. You should ask yourself why outer appearances mean more to you than inner character. Look past your own nose. In short: consider others. You aren’t the only person on the planet.

No matter what culture we live in, our thoughts, ambitions, and actions constantly collide with other souls and we should be cognizant of the fact. If we are kinder to ourselves we won’t find the need to change who we are or manufacture an image to please others. Likewise, if we are kinder to others we instantly make the world a better place for them. Character is what truly matters. Don’t buy the hype, put the selfie stick down and step away.

Be the Exception to be Exceptional.

Examine the Alternatives…

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The word ‘alternative’ has two wonderful synonyms:  ‘option’ and ‘choice’.

And of course, a synonym is defined as ‘a word or phrase that means exactly or nearly the same as another word or phrase in the same language’.

So, ‘examine the alternatives’ simply means ‘consider all the options’ and ‘consider your choices’.

In every action or reaction, we should examine our alternatives.  The important key word in that statement is ‘examine’, because it should prompt one to contemplate what they are examining their options or choices for, but also why there is a need to examine them.Blog 18 Image

Do we make our choices blindly?  No.  Choices are made based on their perceived merit.  Merit should regard how our choices impact others through their potential to enhance and uplift life.  Trouble is, sometimes merit can stem from individual unhealthy needs or desires.  For example, if we choose to give our time and effort to another, but with the ultimate desire that our efforts be acknowledged somehow, say with simple appreciation (seems harmless enough…most people expect a little appreciation for doing good things).  But in such cases, we have given of ourselves with an expectation to receive.  Giving with the expectation to receive is not true giving…it is the result of a cost/benefit analysis conducted under the umbrella of a ‘what’s in it for me’ mentality.

And we are all guilty of it…so no harsh judgments here…

However, it can become a dangerous process….a habitual viewpoint of the self as victim to the world and circumstance.  It is paramount to get real in the examination of our motivations.  Truth is health, and truth is not always easy.  Ask yourself (and be honest) about any hopes, desires, or expectations you might be attaching to your choices and why you really need them.  Are motivations borne from loneliness, envy, unhappiness, or anger?  If our options and choices are rooted in these motivations, there is serious work to be done…inside.  Eventually, once the hard work is done and truth is achieved, loving and giving comes simply and clearly from the desire only to love and give, without the expectation for anything else.

NOTE:  This endeavor is part of the perpetual classroom of life; a renewable ideal, a process and lesson which needs constant gardening to reveal its infinite ability to improve with every season  🙂

blog image courtesy of:  http://www.alternatives.org/impact.html

Love Letter to the World (A Wish)…

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I love it when you smile… when you look upon others without judgment, with a kind heart…

And I love the look on your face when you receive kindness from others…
I love it when you make your children your #1 priority in life and the way they, in turn, make the world a better place for others, because of your efforts…
I love it when you’re not selfish; because you recognize that being self-absorbed means you fail to see the potential in others or contribute to anyone besides yourself…
I love when you give without expectation of reciprocity or praise…
I love when you consider the needs of others above your own feelings; because you understand your feelings aren’t always the most important thing in the world…you understand others have needs that may outweigh your feelings, feelings which may actually be very self-serving…
I love that you know happiness comes from the inside, not outside, so you don’t spend time forcing others to do things just to ‘make you happy’…
I love that you fulfill yourself and strive to be a better person, not just because it makes you better, but because you know you are contributing something positive to the world through your existence…
I love that you never hurt people, lie, or try to make others feel guilty…
I love when you choose to lift people up, rather than gossip or look down your nose at them…
I love how you always endeavor to find the good in things…
I love the way you support the goals of others, rather than tear them down, even when they don’t agree with what you think…
I love your humility, work ethic, and honesty…especially during tough situations…
I love your generosity of spirit and your humanity…
But most of all, I love the way you love me back 🙂

The Best Kind of Panties….

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**“She made me angry…” ** “That ruined my day…” ** “I just can’t get past it…”**

Are any of these statements really true?  Do others possess the capability to make us something we don’t wish to be?  Is it true to say someone, or something else ruined our entire day?

No…statements like these are fundamentally untrue…

We control ourselves… This is a true statement.

Seriously consider the power of such a statement over the others listed above.  The conclusion states we have the last word about what kind of day we have and how we are ultimately going to feel.  We are the harbinger of our own misery or happiness.  We are the ‘keeper of the mood’.

We understand it, in theory.  In practice, it gains difficulty.  That guy that cut you off in traffic, the boss who ‘just doesn’t get it’, or the person who treats you poorly and ‘gets away with it’; each tests our mettle and seems to bring on us (from the outside) anger, frustration, and misery.

However, it is the expectations we place on outside influences that are the source of our own anger and disappointment.  We expect things to go a certain way, or expect to be treated right, or expect people to behave well.  And when things don’t go as expected, we get disappointed or angry.  This is absurd, since we lack control over anything but ourselves.    If we account for the sum total of individual expectation for 7+ billion people on the planet, it isn’t hard to see how anger and frustration is manufactured on a daily basis.

Consider the power of change.  It is possible to enact positive change in our life, and it is through the mere decision to do so.  That is power that does not bend to outside influence.  That is power which dwells inside, produced by sheer will.  Your thoughts run you…

The very position of your will inside means it is protected from outside forces which will against it.  We are each a sturdy vessel.  We are our very own harbor in a storm.  We are each a force…

And because we possess such control, we are not victims…

It is necessary to own our mood and outlook.  It is necessary to be responsible for what we put out in the world.  If we are having a bad day, it is because we are choosing to do so…and that’s completely on us.  We are not a victim of someone or something else; we are choosing to victimize ourselves. 

So don’t do it….Put on those big kid panties and get on with living  🙂

 

*Image courtesy of:  http://aubenoire.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/no-expectations2.jpg*

Happiness…not always…

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happiness picHappiness is not a constant and that is okay…

If we determine a focus on what is good and right, even during hardship, happiness finds us.  Seeking happiness counter intuitively prevents its discovery because it cannot be forced.  Happiness is the wonderful byproduct of attitude and outlook.

The impression that happiness should be (or can be) a constant state of being is illusory.  We are flawed and life is imperfect.  We will feel the sting of disappointment, heartbreak, boredom, and failure.  Life is far too complex to assume the measure of control exists necessary to guarantee one’s happiness as a constant in extant forms of free will or medication.

Acceptance and attitude during experienced states of unhappiness is paramount.  Being unhappy spurs us to hope for happiness.  It motivates us to change our circumstances and attitudes, or create new goals and practices.   And once happiness is again experienced, it is thanks to our previous unhappiness that we have an increased sense of appreciation for what we have found.

Suffering has its unique merits and lessons, so while life is a journey, it is also a classroom.  Our quality of progression depends on perception and perspective.  What we learn and how we choose to apply that knowledge impacts the quality of life for us and for others.  Moreover, like ripples on a pond, they extend beyond the present to influence and inform the future.

Consistently hope for happiness, even in your most depressed moments.  Hoping for happiness is as simple as a happy thought, noting a kind gesture, or repaying one forward.

Happiness is a chosen, hopeful core…a point of light in the dark…a destination of goodness that serves as the constant North of your compass  🙂

 

* image: “http://pinterest.com/pin/283093526547005536/” *

Very Inspiring Blogger Award…

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‘Rock Your Inner Hippie’ is honored and humbled by a nomination for the ‘Very Inspiring Blogger Award’ 🙂

I accept, I accept, I accept!

A HUGE thank you to Jill (J.E. Rule) @ ‘The Rule of Peculiar’ for the nomination!  Check out her amazing, inspiring blog:

http://jrule.wordpress.com/

You rock J.E. Rule, thank you so much  🙂

Additionally, I promise to abide by the requirements of the nomination which are as follows:

I will display the award logo on my blog and link it to my nominator. I will likewise nominate 15 others and notify them of their nomination, also providing them these award requirements.

I nominate the following 15 blogs for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award because they possess inspiring content, an awesome overall outlook, and uplifting advice.  Each is a unique window into the human condition.  They inspire me, and I believe they have the power to inspire any reader lucky enough to find them.  Their blogs are beautiful, contemplative, soulful, and creative.  Their individual perspectives will make you think and they’ll make your day…in short, they are amazing…  🙂

1.  http://redoyouproject.wordpress.com

2.  http://projectlighttolife.wordpress.com/

3.  http://thebookofalice.com/

4.  http://crafttillyoudrop.wordpress.com/

5.  http://patcegan.wordpress.com/

6.  http://passionfortruths.wordpress.com/

7.  http://brittanylaeen.wordpress.com/

8.  http://ohthethingsweshallsee.com/

9.  http://kattermonran.com/

10. http://newbloggycat.com/

11. http://jennadee222.wordpress.com/

12. http://irreducibleprimary.com/

13. http://villainouslove.wordpress.com/

14. http://musingsfromarandommind.wordpress.com/

15. http://thebettermanprojects.com/

Thanks again for this wonderful nomination, Jill!  And to all the bloggers I listed above; you have enriched my life with your words…keep it up!  You’re words matter, and they add positive substance to the world  🙂

Nature Lessons: The Movement of Water

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ImageWater is a force….

It moves freely into spaces that cannot be occupied by solid, immovable elements.  In this way, it becomes a power to be reckoned with, moving in volume where it pleases.  It fills up tiny crevices, lifting and displacing even the heaviest objects through strength, resolve, and a steady, stubborn effort. 

And when water encounters borders of stone intent on controlling its movement, to force its wild flowing to submit, water works gradually, without surrender, to wear down the stone and earth until they yield, eroding to the will of water.  In the wake of such determined labor, we are left with the majesty of the Grand Canyon.  This natural wonder stands as a breathtaking testament to a persistence that sought the tiny spaces between mighty stone barriers so it could continue working and pushing to achieve a desired path.

Be like water…

Strong and determined, steadily working, fluid enough to find the tiny spaces others are too solid and immovable to occupy.  In this way, you will get where you want to go and where you wish to be  🙂